I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I
wish I wish.
I worked harder. I knew how to work
hard.
My body wouldn't react this way to
stress. Especially since it's not worth it. I don't get the results I
want anyway. I just want to have a normal life. What is normal. What
is time. Why doesn't it slow down a bit?
I could convince myself to wake up
early tomorrow. I know it's going to be late as usual. But I just
need need need to be slightly more prepared than I feel. I feel
inadequately prepared at the moment.
I hadn't just lost my train of thought.
That had ended differently. I don't
like the quiet moments when regret creeps up on me. It makes me feel
like I don't know how to interact with other people.
The words I said weren't so
meaningless. That I hadn't rambled on in an effort to seem like
someone I'm not. That I'd realized it sooner, before the tunnel
vision.
I wouldn't remember things about myself
and then say “God, I'm the worst.”
