TEDx

I attended a TEDx event today on my university campus, and I not-so-cleverly decided not to take a pen with me, so I couldn't take notes during the various lectures. However, as I was listening to the speakers, I thought of phrases/quotations from my personal "world" that could resonate with the themes discussed today.

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually -- from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint -- it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff." - The Tenth Doctor, Doctor Who, Blink

A bunch of quotes from Paper Towns by John Green on

imagination (re: Michael Saler - History and Imaginary Worlds)

and imagining others complexly (re: Chimamanda Adichie - The Danger of a Single Story)

"If you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all."
“It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined.”
and
"Isn't it also that on some fundamental level we find it difficult to understand that other people are human beings in the same way that we are?"

Oh, and I'm so glad that more people were exposed to the wonderfulness and pure awesome that is Ze Frank, even if it was through a video and not in-real-life.

Saturated

• Jacob: I just feel weird.
• Anna: Why do you feel weird?
• Jacob: I just feel kind of...
• Anna: You feel weird? I hate it when you say you feel weird.

Relationships are taxing. Lovely when right but so costly. Not just romantic, but any sort of relationship. Friendly, collaborative, familial, casual, strange, formal, familiar, personal. A relationship with music, film, books. Mood-effectors. It’s impossible not to be involved in some way, shape or form.

I just watched Like Crazy, and it was a gorgeous film, but I’ve been indulging myself in some strange addiction to thinking, reading, watching too many things. So much input; I’m starting to feel saturated with feelings.

I can’t always relate to the characters in the books I’ve read nor in the films I’ve watched. But while I’m watching them I do feel a need to connect. And I want to make things happen in my life so I can start to relate more. But then I step back and see how much I’m experiencing with the relationships I’m in and I don’t think I can handle anything else. I just really need a break from all of these thoughts.

Books

I've been reading way too much recently. It's not the worst way to spend my time, but when I should really be studying it seems like a bad idea. Especially since I'm on my sixth book in six days. Um. I have a midterm in two days, a ton of work for lab, and an endless number of tasks on my to-do list. But it's too easy to just pick up where I've left off in whatever book I'm reading, and the feeling of finishing a book is far more satisfying than the seemingly infinite stress of studying for an exam.

What I've read recently:

Anthem Ayn Rand ***

Sold Patricia McCormick ***

The Lover's Dictionary David Levithan ****

The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight Jennifer E. Smith **

Wither Lauren DeStefano **.5

and I'm currently reading Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler, and I'm really liking it so far.

“If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'.” - Lemony Snicket


Last film watched: X-Men: First Class

I am ALT of CTRL

This morning I dreamt that I was driving down a highway and the car was completely out of my control. It was dusk, and then nighttime. My point of view kept changing. I couldn’t see the road. I was sitting in the backseat, and somehow I was pressing the pedal. Then I was in the passenger seat. The car stopped abruptly, and the car behind me honked and drove around me. Miraculously, no one ran into me and I never flew off of a cliff or anything. At one point I saw my car exiting the highway, driving up onto a bridge. And then I couldn’t see it anymore. But I was still driving it! And the one time I glanced to see the speedometer I was going upwards of 100 mph. It was like an out-of-body experience. I was never really even sure that I was the one driving, but it felt very real. And it was terrifying. I woke up drenched in sweat at 6:48am. I still remember because my phone had fallen off of the bed and I had to get out of bed to pick it up.

I'm attributing this dream to my overall lack of control over everything that is going on right now. I usually don't have this many assignments for my courses, and I'm so used to planning every little detail out before I set out to complete a task. In my Microbiology lab for example, it has become clear to me that I can't stand there and ponder my next move for too long or I will run out of time to finish that day's experiments. So I have to just impulsively move on to the next thing. I guess I'll try for more spontaneity, as oxymoronic as that sounds.

Congratulations, nerds!

I made it through the week! So now I can get back into the world of studying (that thing I sometimes do when I'm not dancing and singing).

Somewhat irrelevant .gif, but I don't really care.

Marching On

It's a sad realization that I'm not as invested in things as I used to be. This is a bit vague, but I'm just feeling really apathetic about most things nowadays. And it's not the best solution, but I guess I have to continue as if nothing has changed. I hope this is just an effect of stress and tiredness because I like caring.

BALIA

I've been cheating a bit, uploading these blog posts whenever I get time. So in the ways of other more seasoned BEDA-ers, I am now going to be blogging a lot in April. Yes, good.

So today was the start of an entire week's worth of downpour. I was getting late for class and threw caution to the wind (literally) so I didn't take a jacket or wear rainboots. Not the smartest decision. Now I have to leave for three hours of rehearsal, and I still don't feel like donning rain gear. Struggs, man.

This is turning into "Complain a lot in April."

Last film watched: New Year's Eve