I am ALT of CTRL

This morning I dreamt that I was driving down a highway and the car was completely out of my control. It was dusk, and then nighttime. My point of view kept changing. I couldn’t see the road. I was sitting in the backseat, and somehow I was pressing the pedal. Then I was in the passenger seat. The car stopped abruptly, and the car behind me honked and drove around me. Miraculously, no one ran into me and I never flew off of a cliff or anything. At one point I saw my car exiting the highway, driving up onto a bridge. And then I couldn’t see it anymore. But I was still driving it! And the one time I glanced to see the speedometer I was going upwards of 100 mph. It was like an out-of-body experience. I was never really even sure that I was the one driving, but it felt very real. And it was terrifying. I woke up drenched in sweat at 6:48am. I still remember because my phone had fallen off of the bed and I had to get out of bed to pick it up.

I'm attributing this dream to my overall lack of control over everything that is going on right now. I usually don't have this many assignments for my courses, and I'm so used to planning every little detail out before I set out to complete a task. In my Microbiology lab for example, it has become clear to me that I can't stand there and ponder my next move for too long or I will run out of time to finish that day's experiments. So I have to just impulsively move on to the next thing. I guess I'll try for more spontaneity, as oxymoronic as that sounds.